Managing distractibility becomes more manageable when you have support. The right support structure offers accountability, reminders, emotional encouragement, and tangible assistance.
But here's the thing: inadequate support can actually make things worse. It can introduce shame, excessive pressure, and a fundamental lack of understanding that leaves you feeling more broken than before.
Identify Your Key Supporters
Begin by recognizing who already understands your challenges. Think about your interactions over the past few months. Which people have demonstrated patience and genuine help? Which ones have made things harder, even with good intentions?
Start with the people who've shown understanding. They form your foundation.
Educate Selectively
You don't need to explain your brain to everyone. But sharing relevant information with those closest to you—partners, close friends, important colleagues—helps them interpret your actions with context.
"I'm not ignoring you, my brain just wandered" carries different weight when someone understands the challenges you face. Education creates space for compassion instead of frustration.
Ask for Specific Help
Vague requests don't work well. "Can you help me stay on track?" leaves too much room for interpretation—and often leads to the wrong kind of help.
Instead, make concrete requests:
- "Can you remind me tomorrow morning about the deadline?"
- "Will you check if I started that project by noon?"
- "Can you text me at 3pm to make sure I haven't gone down a rabbit hole?"
Specific asks get better results.
Create Accountability Structures
Establish regular check-ins with someone who knows your objectives. This doesn't need to be formal—a weekly coffee chat where you mention what you're working on can be enough.
Consider body doubling: working alongside others, even virtually. There's something about another person's presence that helps maintain focus. Commitments involving other people also feel harder to abandon than promises made to yourself.
Protect Yourself from Unhelpful Support
Some people respond to your challenges with frustration, disappointment, or surveillance-like monitoring. Their "help" feels like judgment. Their reminders feel like criticism.
You get to choose who's in your support network. Choose people who make you feel capable, not defective.
The goal isn't to find people who will fix you. It's to find people who will work with you—who understand that your brain works differently and meet you where you are.